Archives for posts with tag: daily prompt

The last six months, I have been having intense, shooting headaches.  They got so unpredictable and bad that I was afraid to drive a car.  The Doctor told me they were Cluster Headaches, attributed them to stress, and proceeded to prescribe an anti-seizure medication.  I really hate taking medicine as it is because many times I feel that it treats a symptom, and not a disease.  Therefore, I didn’t take the medicine (since I don’t have seizures) and proceeded to de-stress my life.  I did research into my blinding headaches, and along the way I decided to stop eating gluten.  I figured that even if the Cluster Headaches continued, at least eating less wheat products and more fruits and veggies is healthy.

My Cluster Headaches completely stopped.  Every time I try eating something with gluten, within a half hour I get another Cluster Headache.  Even one single tortilla sets it off.  I was stunned that changing my diet would have such a dramatic result.  I quickly learned that gluten (which is in Wheat, Barley, and Rye), is an ingredient in everything.  Every meal had gluten, and it’s hidden in things you would never imagine. It has been difficult to give up things I love; like bread.  (I know there is gluten free bread, but it doesn’t taste very good, and it crumbles in an instant, making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich impossible.)

My birthday is less than two weeks away, and I absolutely love cake!  Preferably chocolate cake with butter-cream frosting (because the cake exists to hold the frosting up). I have been gluten free for about a month, and in that time my Mother and I have been experimenting with gluten free baking mixes.  I have a secret for you: gluten free cake mix sucks.  Well, the one we tried did anyway.  We ended up tossing it in the bin because neither of us liked it, and that is saying a lot.  

On a side note: I had a jar of frosting, and I didn’t think to look at the label.  Why would I?  There’s no wheat in frosting!  Surprise!! There was wheat protein in this particular brand, and I didn’t think to look until after I had frosted the cake.  I was super happy about that.  

We found a gluten free bakery in our area, and on Monday we are going to try a cupcake.  We don’t want to spend a bunch of money in something I won’t like.  I have high hopes for this cupcake because in addition to cake, I LOVE CUPCAKES!  They are the perfect little (and sometimes not-so-little) pieces of cake heaven.  Of course, there is cupcake eating etiquette, and that can differ from person to person.  I always eat the bottom first because, as I said before, I love frosting.  You always save the best for last!  

I wish that I could eat gluten.  I really miss eating cheeseburgers, chicken nuggets, sandwiches, croutons, soy sauce, and more. I miss cheap cookie mixes and brownie chunks in my ice cream.  On the flip side, I really enjoy being in less pain, and I have been generally feeling better.  The next step is exercising in a more frequent basis.  This is all new, and I still miss those things that have been staples in my life, but really thinking about what you are consuming is a humbling experience. 

This is a response to the wordpress daily prompt! http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2014/03/15/daily-prompt-pour-some-sugar-on-me/  They are a fantastic way to open up your creativity!  

This is the first time I’ve written a response to ‘The Daily Prompt’ on wordpress.  If you are a fellow wordpress blogger, I’m sure you’ve seen it.  If you haven’t that’s okay!  Here’s the link: http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2013/08/18/daily-prompt-time/

It’s about procrastination.  Now, I know what you’re thinking – but it isn’t that kind of a post.  Today, I am talking about warm-and-fuzzy stuff.  Specifically, the personal life vs. the professional life.

I am not a party girl.  I never have been.  Two weeks out of high school I went off to one of the toughest schools for artists in the country.  The school is intensive, with classes all year, even the summer.  Strict attendance policy (meaning if you don’t go, you fail the class), and a dry campus makes for a bunch of artists working to the point of insanity.  You can’t party in that kind of atmostphere. After college, I gave everything to my job.  I walked miles, took buses, even had a two hour commute to get back home at 11pm at night.  Whatever I am doing, I give it my everything.  Not many people work themselves to sickness like I did. 

That is where my procrastination comes in.  I set aside everything for my ‘work’ – whatever is dominating my life at the time.  That can be a good thing, or a bad thing.  I am not sure which one applies to me.

I not only put off having a personal life with friends, or even *gasp* a significant other, but I put off being with my extended family as well.  This is part of a bigger issue I have with internalizing my emotions to get through the day.  I procrastinate dealing with my own emotional health, but also trying to fix my relationship with my extended family. Why do I do that?

Because my father died seven years ago.  I was a freshmen in college, in my first quarter of school. It was a few days before I could get home to see him on life support in the hospital.  My school was six hours drive away, and I had school. School was more important. 

I went home for, like, two days.  My Mother and Grandparents were there.  I don’t really remember much after that. Do you want to know who else was there?

Nobody.  No friends, aunts, uncles, cousins, and so on.  Not a single person who was notified came to see me.  Hell, they didn’t even call me.  They didn’t call me for seven years. 

Whenever I saw them as a child and teenager, they usually made me feel bad about myself.  I was too fat, or too loud, or I said the wrong thing.  My aunts and uncles never made me feel like I was worthy of being around them.  Years after my father died, I wondered why, as an adult, did I feel like I needed to be around them?  Like I owed them something? 

About three years ago I wanted to be a healthier person.  I have been working on changing my life: healthy eating, exercise, doctor checkups, and so on.  I am even starting seeing a councelor when I start school in a week and a half.  At the beginning of this, I felt that I needed to find my true family.  The people who really cared about me.  Everyone else was cut out of my life.

I don’t know if procrastinating about my family issues is a good thing.  Probably not.  It is difficult now that I moved back home because some of my family want to ‘get us together’.  I keep putting it off, canceling it, and saying no.  I want to be happy, and maybe that doesn’t include them.

Now, I am pretty happy with my little family.  My Mom, Grandma, and Grandpa care about me.  They want me to be happy and succeed.  It means a lot that they support me in going back to school.  Sometimes, they seem more excited than I am.  My Grandfather even told me in a quiet, excited way,

“You’ll need to get a back pack!”

“We have a few old bags lying around.” I replied with a smile.

“You’ll need to get a back pack!” He repeated. 

He is excited.  We all are. 

I have said this before to people who are having problems.  If you are around people who bring you down – family, friends, etc. – then they aren’t really friends. 

That’s my procrastination, I guess.  Thank you for reading. ❤